


A Howling Good Time

by Feenie



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Body Horror, Gen, Hilarity Ensues, Not Canon Compliant, Science, Werewolf Turning, Werewolves in Space, werewolves - freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-17 23:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11861466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenie/pseuds/Feenie
Summary: Jonah is having a ruff time of things. He got sick as a dog because of some poor lab safety, and now things are getting a little hairy around the SOL. Man, this really bites for him.(AKA, Jonah becomes a werewolf due to science)





	1. Ruh-Roh

**Author's Note:**

> If you weren't driven away by my horrible, pun-infused title and description, then welcome aboard to werewolf AU.
> 
> This isn't going to be a 1:1 thing from any movie, it's mostly me taking parts of werewolf mythology and how they're represented in pop culture that I personally like and mixing them into this fic. Since I realize this may not be everyone's cup of tea, I'm gonna say here and now Jonah's gonna be closer to looking like an actual wolf and retaining his consciousness and all that. No bloodthirsty monster here, really?
> 
> If the fic still interests you, I'm also going to let you know this first chapter is short because I had a headache or some sort of fever earlier and couldn't write long X_X in any case, enjoy!

In hindsight, maybe Jonah should have probably stopped pretending to look around in feigned confusion by the middle of the season and just walk to the Umbilicus 2.0.

The show opening went as it usually did: simulating Jonah’s capture on Moon 13, Kinga declaring she’ll send him the worst movies she could find (la-la-la), and then...

“Now keep mind that Jonah can’t control--”

“Jonah, _wait!_ ” Kinga shouted, the music coming to a messy halt. Jonah did not hear Kinga in time, and before he knew it, he was tripping backwards into what felt like a pit of needles.

“Oh, _shit!_ ” “Host down, host down!” “Who left those needles out?!”

A few Boneheads scurried over to Jonah and started pulling him up, Jonah stumbling as he got up. Kinga was gripping the railing on her giant platform, eyes wide. Max and Synthia looked frozen, Max shrinking back as Kinga started to yell.

“Alright, which one of you idiots left the lab set out?! I ordered that picked up before the show start hours ago!” she shouted. “Someone get on that _now_ before we have another accident!”

The Boneheads looked over Jonah before one froze and gingerly removed something that was jabbed in Jonah’s upper arm. The plunger was pushed all the way in, only a tiny bit of some viscous liquid remaining in the syringe. Jonah’s face paled as he looked at it, gripping his arm.

“Uh, Kinga? Am I going to die?” he asked, looking up at Kinga with wide eyes.

“No, no, just...get to the SOL, we’ll do without the opening for now,” Kinga ordered, dragging a hand down her face.

\--

Jonah grumbled as he returned to the bridge of the SOL, rubbing his arm. Crow poked at his arm, prompting him to yank his arm away. “Whoa, what happened to you?” Crow asked.

“Apparently got injected with something after tripping over Kinga’s junk on Moon 13,” Jonah answered, G quickly arriving with a roll of bandages. Jonah quickly wrapped his arm up while Tom answered the Mads’ call.

“Well, that was a little...messy, but you’re okay, right?” Kinga asked. Jonah raised an eyebrow, and she huffed. “I’m evil, but if you die, there goes my scheme until we find another idiot!”

“Look, we’re sorry,” Max apologized, rubbing the back of his head. “We found Pearl’s old notes from when she showed Werewolf to Mike, and we wanted to try to redo her experiment related to that movie, and--”

“So I’m going to become a werewolf?!” Jonah interrupted, nearly dropping the roll of bandages.

“I mean, maybe? Maybe not?” Kinga shrugged. “I was going to test it out on a Bonehead, but this might be more interesting. People love werewolves! And hey, you’ll be the first riffing werewolf in space!”

“Assuming you do turn into one,” Max added, quickly. “If not and you just get sick, we basically have to delay the show until you recover.”

Jonah just sighed and nodded, absentmindedly scratching at his arm before G nudged his arm away. “You’ll only make it worse like that.”

\--

Jonah found the movie hard to concentrate on, horrible or not. Heck, he could barely sit still as is. The first leg of the movie was a chore to endure, compounded by the fact he was suddenly unable to just sit still.

“Jonah, you’re making more noise right now than the movie has since it started!” Crow finally spoke up. “What the heck is wrong?!”

“I don’t know!” Jonah answered. “I’m just restless, I don’t know why!”

“Can you try to be a little more quiet?” Tom asked. “We hate this movie too, but we need to get through it too!”

“I’m trying!” Jonah complained.

The rest of the movie went no better, even with the skits in-between, and by the end Jonah was exhausted. He slumped over the console after the movie’s end.

“I don’t know whether to count this as a victory or not,” Kinga said to Max, gesturing to Jonah. “He’s looking as sick as a dog.”

“Maybe not? Jonah, are you doing alright?” Max asked.

Jonah grunted loudly. “I feel like death.”

“...yeah, I don’t think it counts,” Max said, quietly.


	2. Things Are About to Get Hairy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Body horror warning for the last paragraph if it's not your thing!

The next day, Jonah woke up to feeling like he was on fire. He groaned, kicking off the blankets and rolling off the bed. Ugh ugh ugh, did G set the Satellite to boiling for some reason?

He blearily stumbled to the bathroom, and blinked at his reflection in the mirror. Oh. Oh no, G had not messed with the Satellite’s controls at all. Somehow his hair growth had gone into overdrive, and he was covered in hair now. Even more embarrassing, his tongue lolled out of his mouth until he consciously closed it.

“Uh...G? There’s a shaving kit up here, right?” Jonah called.

“Yeah, we do! Why?” G responded, poking her head into the bathroom before her jaw dropped. “Oh. Ohhh that’s not good.”

“We’re going to need so much shaving cream,” Jonah said, not looking at G.

It took what felt like hours, but eventually, the hair had mostly been shaved off. Jonah gave himself a good shake off, G staring at him.

“...Jonah? Are you okay?” she asked. “I think this werewolf thing is getting to you...”

“Huh? Yeah, I feel fine,” Jonah answered. “I mean, right now it’s just accelerated hair growth, and me shaking a little, but I think I’m okay.”

“Take care of yourself,” G ordered. “Tell us if you start feeling weird or anything.”

Jonah nodded, and walked over to the bridge. Crow and Tom were talking amongst themselves, several sheets of paper covering the console.

“Okay, but there’s no way he’s going to be like Werewolf-werewolves! That movie was terrible and any impact it had on any werewolf lore shou--oh. Hey, Jonah,” Crow greeted.

“Heya. What are you guys talking about?” Jonah asked, glancing at the console.

“Listing off what werewolf-related pieces of fiction we know about and what kind of werewolf you could be,” Tom responded. “We’re still discussing Werewolf. I still say that movie’s the more likely one considering they’re taking notes from Pearl’s experiment after it!”

“Tom, that’s incredibly stupid! The werewolves in that movie made no sense, and why would Pearl base her werewolves off that movie?!” Crow countered.

“It’s the only real werewolf movie we watched! What else could she have based it off of?” Tom argued.

“I don’t know, I Was A Teenage Werewolf? Werewolf of London? Teen Wolf?” Crow said.

“Yeah, well...shut up!” Tom grunted, looking away from Crow.

The Mads called, and Jonah reluctantly answered. “Please tell me we don’t have another movie...”

“Relax, Heston,” Kinga responded, holding up a hand. Next to her, Max was hastily writing on a clipboard. “We’re calling to see how you’re doing. Now, have you felt any changes since yesterday?”

“Not feeling restless like yesterday. I also woke up kinda...hairy?” Jonah responded, scratching the back of his head. Weird, what was that odd, rapid tapping noise--

Crow and Tom started giggling, both looking away from Jonah. Jonah stopped scratching, and the tapping noise stopped. Kinga had to look away herself, fighting back giggles.

“I’d say yes, you’re changing,” she said after a moment. “This is interesting...I wonder, will you transform during a new moon, or a full moon?”

“I hope I don’t change at all,” Jonah mumbled.

“Anyways, if you do change into a bloodthirsty wolf, try not to destroy the bots. We still need hosts for the experiment,” Kinga ordered before the feed cut.

\--

Jonah awoke that night feeling something just...wrong in his gut. His heart was racing, he was sweating like this morning, something was just setting him off and he couldn’t tell what.

He opened his eyes and instantly regretted it. Fur was snaking across his arms, nails growing into claws. His breath caught in his throat, and he hurriedly clambered out of bed. Jonah hit the ground with a pained yelp, loud enough to get G’s attention.

“Jonah?! Oh no, no no no no, you’re...” G began, nervously looking around. “I don’t know what to do, I’m sorry!”

Jonah opened his mouth to respond, but all that came out was a frightened woof. G winced, lowering herself to keep him company.

“It’ll be okay, Jonah, I’m here,” she said, quietly.

Jonah’s face pushed out into a snout, ears lengthening. He grunted as a tail pushed itself out of his behind, his spine growing longer and his heels jutting backwards. His teeth grew longer and sharpened into points, and fur covered the rest of his body before everything finally went still.

“Jonah? Are you okay?” G asked, slowly approaching him. “Can you even understand me...?”

Jonah slowly raised his head and blinked. His glasses were still on his face, and his clothing was still in one piece...and he didn’t feel particularly wolfish?

“Jonah?” G repeated, backing up with a hint of fear in her voice.

Jonah scrambled to all fours, yipping and wagging his tail. ‘No, G, I’m okay! I’m okay!’ he thought.

“You can understand me?” G asked, tilting her head. Jonah nodded, woofing loudly. G sighed in relief. “Oh, thank goodness! I was worried for a second there.”

“G? We heard barking, did the Mads send a dog up here?” Crow asked as he and Tom entered Jonah’s room. They froze the moment they saw Jonah, now more or less canine-ified.

“Well, Jonah kinda...turned into a wolf?” G responded.

Crow and Tom stared at Jonah for approximately five seconds before screaming in terror, Crow grabbing Tom and running away.


	3. A Ruff Night

G sighed, shaking her head. “…not even a chance to explain properly. Jonah, I’ll go and explain the situation,” she said.

Jonah shook his head, woofing and wagging his tail. ‘I want to come with!’ he thought.

“No? Jonah, they’re kinda scared as is…” G reminded. “I mean, you’re really obviously not a bloodthirsty werewolf bent on destruction, but…”

Jonah woofed again, louder than before. G sighed. “Okay, Jonah, but be careful.”

Jonah’s tail wagged for a brief moment as G hurried down the hall before he realized something: he was not bipedal for the time being. He looked down at his front paws before taking a deep breath.

‘I can do this. If I can create a robot that acts as human as Joel’s bots, if I can survive all these bad movies, I can walk on four legs!’

He took a step forward with one paw, then the other. His hind legs immediately started slipping, and he scrabbled to correct himself before he fell. Okay, okay…front left paw, back right paw, front right paw, back left paw…front, back, front, back, front back front back frontbackfrontbackfrontback–

Jonah yelped as his face collided with a wall. His ears flattened to his head as he rubbed his nose. ‘Ow ow ow’

“G, you don’t understand, he’s a vicious monster now!” Crow was saying as Jonah carefully walked down the hall. “He could find us any moment now!”

“He isn’t a vicious monster! Remember how Mike became a Were-Crow?” G questioned. “He wasn’t a vicious monster!”

“Well he was a Were-Crow!” Tom retorted. “Not a werewolf! And we knew how to fix that!”

“Oh, for…” G groaned.

Jonah approached the end of the hall and carefully poked his head in the door. Crow and Tom had barricaded themselves under what looked like jars of peanut butter and bags of rice. G looked reasonably frustrated, turning around as Jonah entered the room.

“Jonah! Please try to set the record straight with them…” she asked.

“It’s too late, G! He’s a monster, a beast with no sense of humanity left in him!” Crow dramatically declared.

Jonah huffed loudly, walking into the room. Crow and Tom cried out in fear, ducking back behind the barricade. “He’s going to kill us!”

Jonah rolled his eyes before nosing aside one of the bags of rice. Crow and Tom shrank back, hugging each other.

“Tom, I’m sorry I messed with your underwear collection, I think it’s a really cool hobby!” Crow apologized.

“Crow, I’m sorry I made fun of you when praising all the work G does around here, I just wanted to feel superior to you!” Tom said in turn.

Jonah simply stuck his head into the barricade’s hole and sniffed at the bots. Before he or the bots could react properly to each other, his tongue flicked out of his mouth and he licked at Crow.

“…huh?” Crow looked at Jonah with wide eyes. “Jonah…?”

Jonah stuck his tongue out, ears flattening. Ick ick ick metal tasted really bad. Ick. Crow slowly reached out and rested his hand on Jonah’s head. His tail instantly started wagging, and Crow started petting him.

“You’re…You’re not going to hurt us…” he realized, quietly.

‘Of course not!’ Jonah thought, crawling past the barricade and resting his muzzle on Crow’s head.

“Tom–Tom, I think he’s not going to hurt us,” Crow said, letting go of Tom. “He’s not attacking or anything.”

“Are you sure?” Tom asked, looking at Jonah. He slowly reached out to pet Jonah, who gave a pleased ‘boof’ upon being pet.

“See? Guys, he’s still Jonah,” G assured. “He’s fluffy, walks on four legs, and can’t speak like this, but he’s still Jonah!”

Crow and Tom sighed in collective relief. “Well…he’s cute. Cuter than he has any right to be,” Tom declared.

“So he’s just a sentient dog?” Crow asked G.

“Don’t…Don’t call him that,” G responded, shaking her head. “And come out of that barricade!”

Crow and Tom complied, Jonah crawling out after them. “Sorry about that, Jonah,” Crow apologized.

Jonah simply shrugged and woofed at Crow before heading back to his bed. He curled up in the covers, and within moments, he was asleep.

–

Jonah awoke what felt like hours later, still curled up in bed. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, ears flattening when he realized he was still a wolf. His head was buzzing with all sorts of questions he couldn’t even ask now, and it drove him nuts.

He clambered out of bed and toward the closet. If he was stuck as a wolf for however long, he was going to be presentable, transformation be damned.

“Good morning, Jonah!” G greeted, swooping in as Jonah approached the closet. “Are you doing alright today?”

Jonah shrugged, gesturing to himself with one paw. G winced. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how long you’ll stay like that. If it’s any help, I’ll help you get dressed.”

The next few minutes were G and Jonah struggling to get him dressed, his fur so thick it was hard to get his pajamas off. Inwardly, he wanted to scream when he realized his jumpsuit couldn’t be zipped up all the way.

“Well…at least it’s better than nothing, right?” G suggested as Jonah looked at himself in the mirror. “I’m glad I could help, though.”

Jonah whimpered, looking away from the mirror. It was starting to sink in he was an actual monster now. Even if he escaped the Satellite and returned to Earth, who in their right minds would accept him? Gizmonics would either want to expel him or study him, his family would outright reject him, it’s a miracle he got the bots to calm down in the first place…

He removed his glasses and covered his face with his paws, whining. This was suddenly awful in so many ways, and he really wished he could express it better right now.

“Hey, hey, Jonah…breathe, okay?” G said, gently. “We’re going to get through this. It will take a while, maybe, but we’re going to get through this.”

Jonah slowly nodded, removing his paws from his face. Right. Right, he could get through this, this was just temporary.

His ears perked up at a noise coming from the bridge. “Oh! Mads are calling!” G realized, and Jonah ran off to the bridge. He reared up on his hind legs and got his front paws on the console, smacking the button with one paw.

“Good mo–OH MY GOD.”

Kinga and Max stared at Jonah with wide eyes, Max covering his mouth with his hands. “Oh my god, we have  _fucked up,_  Kinga. We have fucked up beyond belief.”

“Shut up. Oh my god, I didn’t think the serum worked so quickly,” Kinga said.

Jonah barked in greeting, raising one paw to wave at them. Kinga and Max exchanged looks. “Okay–Okay, he seems sentient, maybe we haven’t completely, er…screwed the pooch?” Max suggested.

“One, that was a terrible pun. Two, I  _guess?_ ” Kinga responded, dragging a hand down her face. “How do we react to this? We’ve actually turned our test subject into a werewolf, I thought he’d just get really hairy!”

“Try to cure him?” Max weakly suggested.

“Only if he goes feral,” Kinga responded. “Assuming that’s a thing, anyways.”

Jonah barked loudly, Kinga and Max jumping. “…well, at least he’s kind of cute like this,” Max commented. “We need to bring him to Moon 13 at some point.”

Kinga nodded before taking a deep breath. “So, Jonah, it’s currently a new moon phase where we are. If you can call it a phase, at least? We’re going to have to plan around this and change the movie schedule accordingly, since it’s obvious you can’t really speak like that. As for a cure…we’ll consider it.”

Jonah huffed, flicking his tail and staring at Kinga. “Don’t look at me like that!” she protested. “Look, for the most part, nothing will change except some experiment rescheduling. Okay, maybe occasionally a Moon 13 visit to make sure everything’s okay, but everything else will be as is.”

“Maybe some occasional squeaky toys?” Max suggested, and Jonah’s tail instantly started wagging. Yesssss yes yes yes squeaky toys!

“Max, he’s our test subject, not…though, hm, it would be worth seeing how dog-like he acts,” Kinga said, raising a hand to her chin. “Push the button, Max.”

The feed cut, and Jonah was left whining at the screen, squeaky toy-less.


	4. Some Fluffy Stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Praying I don't run out of dog puns for chapter titles.
> 
> Anyways, I'm referring to G as Gigi starting this chapter. I find it a better name than her canon one >_>

Jonah was now faced with a problem that, honestly, he’d never think he’d have to worry about: what does a werewolf do when they’re trapped in space and not a destructive monster?

He couldn’t really do much like this, his hands were still somewhat recognizable as hands, but…he did not have much faith in how they worked at the moment. So no invention exchange progress could be done for three days, no sewing the space suit, no cleaning the room up, no fixing Waverly…

Jonah dropped down from the console, lashing his tail. All he really could do was relax, and it was terrible.

“Jonaaaaah, where are you?” Crow called.

“Hey, Crow, you know what this reminds me of?” Tom asked.

“Steve’s a werewolf, but he’s my guy, he’s different from the rest, I don’t know why!” the two bots started singing.

Jonah barked loudly, and Crow and Tom came running into the console room. “There you are! Awh, you got your jumpsuit on!” Crow noted.

“You know, something just occurred to me: do you think Joel and Mike are watching what Kinga’s doing?” Tom asked Crow.

“I mean, probably. Why?” Crow asked.

“Don’t you think they’re going to worry when they hear the new host is a werewolf now?” Tom suggested. Crow opened his mouth as if to say something, then quickly shut it.

“…yeah, they…they probably will,” he admitted. “But, hey! At least Mike won’t be the only host who was a were-something anymore!”

Crow’s phone chose that moment to ring, and he reluctantly answered. “Hello?…oh hey, Joel! Yes, we’re okay, don’t worry! The Mads are treating us okay…”

There was something Jonah could just barely hear as Crow trailed off mid-speech. “But what about the new kid?”

“Oh, Jonah? He’s uh…uhhhhhhhhhh…”

Crow winced looking at Jonah. “…kinda…going through a hairy situation?”

Tom groaned loudly, dragging his hands down his globe. “You do not have this, Crow.”

“He’s okay, nothing life-threatening!…why was there no opening last week? We, uh…we forgot?” Crow said, weakly.

Jonah leaned forward, trying to focus his hearing on the phone. “…forgot the opening? How do they forget the opening?”

“I-I don’t know! Look, things are fine! Jonah’s busy so no he can’t talk, and that’s not a sign anything is wrong say hi to Mike BYE!”

Crow hung up, and Tom stared at him with what Jonah could now assume was disappointment. “…I don’t even know what to say.”

“…I panicked. Very badly,” Crow said, shoving his phone at Tom. “You talk to him next time he calls. Anyways, uh–what do we do with Jonah??”

“Well…what  _do_  we do with him? He’s pretty cute, you have to admit,” Tom noted.

“Teach him tricks? Play fetch with Waverly’s remains?” Crow suggested.

Jonah growled at that, and Crow rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay, sheesh! Uhh…look, I don’t know, we haven’t had Joel or Mike spontaneously turn into a giant dog!”

“He’s a  _wolf,_ ” Tom corrected.

Jonah padded past the two, electing to fetch some breakfast.

–

As it turned out, his hands did work somewhat properly, but not as well as they really could. Sure, he still had opposable thumbs, but his hands now worked like some strange mixture of paw and hand. So, that led to him using a fork and knife with only the edges of his fingers while he tried to eat.

“Jonah, it’s okay, you can just use your hands,” Gigi tried to encourage. “We’re not going to judge.”

Jonah woofed, shaking his head in protest. He struggled with the utensils for a little longer before giving up and tearing into the pancakes like a dog. Crow and Tom watched, fascinated.

“Well, at least you tried!” Tom tried to encourage.

Jonah retreated to his room after eating, entirely certain he would be beet red after that display. On his work table stood what was currently M. Waverly being rebuilt–the poor bot was attacked by Crow and Tom, and Jonah felt he owed it to M. Waverly to try to fix him.

To his credit, he had fixed most of the damage, his arms and legs were the last real bits left, the power system was mostly intact, but he was wary about powering him on again.

Still…Jonah reluctantly powered up Waverly again, standing back. It took him a good minute to power back on, Jonah wondering if he really should show himself to Waverly like this in the minute that passed.

“…ugggh, that really hurt. I’m gonna be feeling that for a week,” Waverly groaned, shaking his head. “Jonah? Where are you?”

Jonah raised a paw, ears flattening against his head. Waverly stared at him before gasping. “Crow and Tom turned you into a dog!”

Jonah shook his head rapidly. “They didn’t? I must have a few circuits fried or something…how long was I out? Why are you a dog?” Waverly asked.

Jonah gestured to his throat, shaking his head. ‘Can’t speak.’

“Uh…huh? Oh!” Waverly said. “You can’t speak! I’m sorry, Jonah…I wish I could do something, but uh…I’m ‘disarmed’ for now.”

Jonah couldn’t resist a chuckle. Well, at least his humor circuit was intact. Waverly giggled himself before going on, “Say, could you lend an hand? I’m feeling pretty ‘armless right now! Man, I’m going to need a right-hand man now!”

Jonah snickered loudly, doubling over. “Thank you, thank you! I’ll be here all week!” M. Waverly declared. “Well, not like we have a choice, but eh!”

Ah, M. Waverly. Jonah was kind of happy to have him at the moment. He reared up and gently nuzzled Waverly, tail wagging.

“Aw, Jonah. How long is this gonna last?” Waverly asked.

Jonah shrugged. “Oh. Well, that stinks…if it helps, I can stay with you for now!” Waverly offered.

Jonah gently picked up M. Waverly and retreated to his bed with him, settling down for a nap.


	5. Nothing to Bark At

Jonah didn’t know how long he was out, but the noise that brought him back to consciousness was the ever-familiar sound of the tube that would take him to the Moon.

His feet worked faster than his head, carrying him off his bed and straight into a wall. M. Waverly made a startled noise as Jonah was sucked away back to the Moon.

He was unceremoniously plunked back in the Back-jack, and Jonah forced himself to crawl out. Jonah’s fur stood on end, mind racing wildly as he looked around. No no no no no no he didn’t want to be here right now, Kinga and Max were here, he had to run he had to escape they would just hurt him again–

He took off like a shot in a random direction. “Hey! Don’t let him get away!” someone shouted.

Jonah wasn’t entirely aware of what he was doing, just running for his life. There were several pairs of arms trying to grab him, but he easily slipped out of them. At some point, he found himself hiding under something, pressing himself low to the ground. It was dark, it was safe, they couldn’t find him–

“Jonah?” Max called, and Jonah growled as loud as he could. Max peeked under his bed, shining a flashlight.

“Easy, easy, we’re not going to hurt you. Kinga wants to do a quick look-over, maybe administer a shot or two, then we’ll send you back,” Max said, gently. “It’ll take a few minutes.”

Jonah continued to growl, baring his teeth. Max sighed, and walked away for a minute. When he returned, something squeaked loudly. That was enough to get Jonah to poke his head out, sniffing.

In Max’s hands was a rather large stuffed penguin, and as he squeezed, it a loud squeak came out of it and further drew Jonah from under the bed.

“Come on out, Jonah, it’ll be okay,” Max said. “I promise I’ll get Kinga to swear she won’t hurt you.”

Jonah crawled out from under the bed, eyeing the squeaky toy. Max started to walk away, and Jonah immediately followed, woofing in protest.

‘I want the squeaky toy gimme the toy gimme!!!’ Jonah thought, not paying attention until he was surrounded by Boneheads. Kinga stepped forward, sighing.

“Well, that took longer than needed. C’mon, stupid furball, we need to look you over, then you can go back to being a dog,” she declared.

Jonah’s hackles rose, a growl bubbling in his throat. “Jonah–Jonah, calm down!” Kinga ordered. “Like it or not, we need to make sure you’re not going to catch anything like that, or get rabies, or…or something else, I don’t know!”

“Kinga and I won’t hurt you,” Max said, holding up his hands and dropping the squeaky toy. “You have our word.”

Jonah slowly stopped growling, sitting down in front of Kinga and Max. He still wanted to run, to get the hell away from them, but…ugh.

–

The check-up lasted forever to Jonah. Blood samples were drawn, fur samples were taken, Jonah was certain a tooth would’ve been taken if Kinga felt like it. After some time, Kinga scribbled something down on a clipboard.

“I’m done with him for now, send him back,” she said, making a shooing motion. Jonah inwardly sighed in relief, tempting to just drop to the floor.

“Kinga, uh…I know this might not be the right place for it, but wouldn’t it be nice to play with him for a bit?” Max suggested.

Kinga stared at Max, incredulous. “…why would we want to do that?”

“For fun. And because I kind of miss having a dog after Nummy Muffin Cocol Butter,” Max admitted, bending down to scratch behind Jonah’s ears. Jonah’s tongue lolled out of his mouth, tail wagging. Ohhh that felt nice.

“…gah, fine. Fine, we’ll play with him,” Kinga grumbled, setting the clipboard down. “Do you have any toys up here?”

Max scurried off and returned with what looked like a blue and white length of rope. He dangled it in front of Jonah, and Jonah couldn’t resist the impulse to leap at it and gnaw at it. His tail wagged as Max tugged back, attempting to yank it away from him.

He lost track of time, letting himself relax and enjoy playing with Max. Kinga stood by and watched for the most part, save for retrieving her clipboard and writing something down at one point. A few Boneheads started watching, and eventually cheering on Jonah.

“Okay, okay, you’ve been playing long enough,” Kinga said at one point, stepping forward. “We’re sending him up now.”

Jonah whined, flattening his ears. “Kinga, we’ve barely been playing for an hour!” Max protested.

“I don’t care, send him up!” Kinga answered, Max wincing.

“…fine, fine.” Max guided Jonah back to the tube, and in a flash Jonah was landing with a loud yelp in the theater. He laid there for a while, tail thumping against the ground.

“Jonah? Are you back?” Gigi called, descending into the theater. Jonah sat up, woofing to let her know. Gigi zoomed over, looking him over. “Are you okay?”

He nodded, and she sighed in relief. “Okay, good. Crow and Tom are nosing around your room–”

Jonah scrambled toward his room in a snap, the fur on his back standing on end. Sure enough, Crow and Tom were standing in his room, M. Waverly shrinking back on his bed.

“He  _rebuilt you?!_ ” Crow said in an accusing tone. “I thought we made it clear we didn’t want you!”

“Don’t hurt me!” M. Waverly yelped.

Jonah growled loudly, stepping into the room. Crow and Tom jumped, turning to face him. “H-Hey, Jonah…nice to see you…” Crow greeted, weakly.

Jonah stalked past them, leaping onto the bed and standing in front of Waverly. Tom and Crow slowly backed off. “Okay, okay, we’re sorry!” Tom blurted. “Please don’t bite us.”

Jonah simply huffed, pointing a claw in the direction of the door, and Tom and Crow reluctantly left. M. Waverly slowly poked his head out from behind Jonah.

“…thank you Jonah, I was worried they might hurt me again,” he admitted. Jonah wagged his tail, licking M. Waverly’s head.


	6. His Bark is Worse Than His Bite

The day when Jonah returned to his regular self could not come soon enough. The moon was waxing crescent when he woke in the middle of the night, body suddenly shifting and shrinking. His fur started to recede into his body, making him itch with his shrinking claws. His muzzle shrank back into his face, his tail was sucked back into his body, and his heels snapped forward so quickly Jonah made a pained noise.

Jonah’s spine cracked and groaned until it was its regular length again, and his ears returned to their regular position on his head, rounded again. Everything eventually fell still, and Jonah was left staring at the wall for a moment before burying his head in his pillow and whimpering like a puppy.

At some point, he figured, he passed out and didn’t awake until Gigi was nudging him. Or he just had been awake that long.

“Jonah, time to wake up. Are you okay? You’re back to normal…” Gigi said, quietly.

“No,” Jonah answered, voice croaky. “I feel awful.”

“Need help?” Gigi asked.

Jonah nodded, and Gigi gently curled around him and got him out of bed. His legs were doing their best to go on strike, and he held onto Gigi for dear life.

“…legs are not working,” he mumbled, feeling like his face was burning.

“Easy, easy. Where do you need to go?” Gigi responded.

“Console room,” Jonah said, and Gigi carefully walked him over. The moment they reached the console, Jonah draped himself over it. “…thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Let me know if you need anything else!” Gigi chirped before zipping away. Jonah lay on the console for what felt like hours, though it was probably only a few minutes, before the Mads called him up. He half-heartedly hit the button.

“Oh good, you’re back to normal!” Kinga noted. “That means we can bring you in for more tests!”

“Do I have to?” Jonah groaned. “I feel about as bad as Cry Wilderness is.”

“Yes, we have to!” Kinga responded, and away Jonah was whisked to the moon. He landed in the Back-jack with a grunt, stumbling outside. Kinga immediately yanked on his arm, directing him toward the lab.

“Hey, hey!” Jonah yelped, trying to keep pace with her. “I would have just followed you if you asked!”

“Not taking chances after we brought you to Moon 13 last time,” Kinga curtly responded, not looking at him.

She ran the same tests she had two days ago: speech, reflexes, general health, height and weight…it seemed to take forever. Max gave him sympathetic looks every so often, mumbling an apology when he drew his blood.

“If it helps, you hopefully won’t need to deal with this after today, unless Kinga thinks otherwise,” Max eventually said as testing started to end. “This definitely should be enough for her.”

“I hope,” Jonah mumbled, punctuating his displeasure with a loud huff.

“Well, good news and bad. Good news, you seem to be fine,” Kinga eventually said aloud. “Bad news for you, we have no intention of working on a cure.

“So what am I supposed to do?” Jonah questioned, folding his arms. “Just deal with this? It’s  _your_  awful lab safety that turned me into a werewolf in the first place!”

“Pretty much. What, did you expect us to be sympathetic?” Kinga shot back. “We’re evil! What did you expect from us?”

Jonah bared his teeth, glaring up at her. “For you to maybe act a little human, all things considered? I’m a literal monster now!”

“That’s rich, coming from you, the overgrown puppy!” Kinga retorted. “You’re harmless!”

Jonah was starting to see red, and his nails dug into his pants. “You’re lucky I am! Do you really think you’d be able to control a bloodthirsty werewolf if you lucked out and got what you wanted?! My  _god,_  it’s a miracle your family hasn’t gotten itself killed sooner!”

Max visibly flinched away when Jonah mentioned Kinga’s family, and Kinga just about snapped her pen in half from how hard she gripped it. “…Heston, I  _swear,_  you’re going to wish I threw you out the airlock if you make another crack about my family.”

“Okay, okay, let’s just–let’s send him back!” Max quickly cut in, stepping forward. “Someone’s going to end up hurt or worse, and I’d really rather not see that happen!”

The Skeleton Crew quickly stepped in, ushering Jonah back to the SOL. He growled and grumbled as he returned to his room.

“Jonah! You’re back!” M. Waverly greeted, a cheerful note in his voice “And you’re not a werewolf!”

Jonah paused, blinking, before letting his shoulders drop. “…hey, Waverly. Sorry, I, uh…Kinga said she’s not going to work on a cure for me anytime soon. It’s…not something I’m happy about.”

M. Waverly winced. “She isn’t? Oh, Jonah…I’m sorry.”

Jonah sat in front of Waverly, shaking his head. “You’re not a Mad, you’re not the one responsible for me being a werewolf. I’m just…tired, I guess.”

“Well, we–we can do this! I mean, you’re not a monster!” Waverly tried to encourage. “It’ll be okay, Jonah!”

Jonah just sighed, beginning work on restoring Waverly’s legs. “…I hope so.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Bark at the Moon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11973222) by [speccygeekgrrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/speccygeekgrrl/pseuds/speccygeekgrrl)




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